


Screaming on the Rooftop

by lazbobthing



Series: Snapshots, AKA Team Poly Inquisition [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Crack, Elves can do something insane with their tongues, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fucked up Friday with Sera and Inquisitor is fun, Inplied bondage shenanigans, Inquisitor/His inner circle/his advisors, M/M, Multi, Screaming obscenities on a roof top, The continuing adventures of Team Poly Inquisition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 18:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5014636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazbobthing/pseuds/lazbobthing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Would someone please explain why Sera and the Inquisitor are on the roof of the tavern, screaming obscenities?" Josephine asked in a strainedly calm voice, crossing her arms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Screaming on the Rooftop

"Would someone please explain why Sera and the Inquisitor are on the roof of the tavern, screaming obscenities?" Josephine asked in a strainedly calm voice, crossing her arms.

"I believe they call it Fuck You Friday." Blackwall grunted, watching with a broad grin as Lazarus Trevelyan beat his chest with both hands and roared to the sky, "COOOOOCKMOOOOONKEEEY!"  
"It was funny the first time they did it, now it's just disgraceful." Cullen scowled, one hand resting on his sword as he watched Sera cackle madly and balance on the roof.  
Dorian snorted, from his position nearby.   
"You're just mad because Lazarus was supposed to meet with you tonight," The Altus said archly, enjoying the blush that almost immediately lit up the ex-templar's face, and the way he spluttered.

"I'm still cracking up over the fact that you all decided to elect Lazarus, our resident cock hungry lunatic, as leader of the Inquisition!" Varric laughed at the looks on Josephine and Cullen's faces.

"I don't know about him being a lunatic, but cock hungry is pretty accurate." Iron Bull wandered over, watching Sera and Lazarus' antics with open amusement.

"Oh, maker, please tell me you didn't defile the war table again!" Josephine covered her face with a hand, cringing.

"No worries Josie, Boss and I broke in the new bed in his quarters. Big ass thing, could probably fit all of us, which I think was his intention." The Qunari reassured the fretting antivan, who relaxed visibly.

"Might I ask what is all the racket?" Solas emerged from the main hall, a book in hand as he strode down the steps.

He was just in time to witness Sera buck her hips and do something with her tongue that was both obscene and impressive, making the group pause.

"...Is that an elf thing?" Blackwall asked, fascinated.

Solas snorted, and repeated the gesture at him, making the Warden blush red and stare, enthralled.

"I love the tongue thing." Iron Bull sighed dreamily; grinning at Solas in a wicked manner.

"PUT YER GROSS BITS AWAY SERA! EW!" Lazarus roared, covering his eyes.

"HEY! I DON'T EW YOUR DANGLY BITS! RUDE MUCH!" Sera screeched back at him, with a rude gesture.

"YES YOU DO!" Lazarus pointed out, with a dramatic gesture.

"SHUT UP?"

"Maybe giving them the dragon ale wasn't such a good idea, Bull." Dorian shook his head, as the rest of the group's heads snapped to glare at the sheepish looking Qunari. 

"Cole? Do you think you could get them down, please?" Solas turned to the spirit, who had been lurking unseen off to the side. Cole nodded, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

The group watched as Cole appeared on top of the roof, and approached Lazarus, who started at the sight of him.

Cole spoke to the inquisitor, ignoring the grimace Sera was giving him. Lazarus visibly perked up, and Sera cackled, making smoochy-faces at the rogue's  
back. Lazarus turned back to where the group stood, blinking at all of them, and seemed to focus on Cullen, with a ridiculous grin. 

"Oh no." Cullen paled, "I know that look, he's about to do something foolish."

"And we'll know the difference from what he usually does, how?" Varric muttered, smirking. 

Lazarus made for a running start, as if he was going to jump straight off the roof, causing the group to let out strangled yells.  
Thankfully Cole had the foresight to tackle the reckless Inquisitor, and they disappeared in a cloud of smoke, reappearing in front of the group.

"You-!" Cullen strode forward, seething at the Inquisitor's reckless behavior, Cole helpfully pushing the giggling Lazarus towards him.

"Hullo Cullen!" Lazarus grinned up at the Ex-Templar, cheeks flushed     and fade green eyes sparkling with inebriated glee. He threw his arms around Cullen's neck, and made to kiss him, but he was thwarted by Iron Bull lifting him up like a mother cat does her kitten.

"Don't give me that look, Cullen, if he had kissed you, you would have gotten all sappy and forgiven him." Iron Bull shrugged at the ex-Templar's flustered protests. 

Iron Bull hefted the mumbling rogue over his shoulder, and straightened.

"Alright, Cullen, you come with me, Cole, you go get Vivienne and Leilana and then get Sera for them." Iron Bull instructed, already heading up the stairs into the keep.

"Oh dear. Shall I go and cancel all of Lazarus' duties tomorrow in advance?" Josephine asked, a bemused expression on her face. 

"Yes." Iron Bull grinned over his shoulder at her, Lazarus looking much more sober, and a mixture of aroused and the dawning realization that he fucked up. 

"Oh this is gonna be fun." Lazarus beamed.

Cullen looked nervous and determined, following close behind Iron Bull.

"I find myself rather curious about the 'tongue' thing, Solas," Blackwall regarded the Elf with dark eyes, a wicked smirk visible behind his beard.

"I'm rather interested as well," Dorian added, stepping forward with a hungry leer.

Solas rolled his eyes, and gestured for the two to follow him.

"I suppose I could show you, and if you show the knack, teach you." The hedge Mage's smile bordered on wolfish as he lead the eager men away.

"What does it say about me, that I don't know which group I want to follow? All three sound just as delightful." Josephine laughed, blushing and hiding her smile behind a hand.

"Well, if you're interested, Ruffles, I've always got a good story and I recently acquired a new wicked grace deck, and your favorite port," Varric said innocently, offering his arm.

"Master Tethras, I would be delighted to accept." Josephine gracefully took his arm, and the two wandered off.

**Author's Note:**

> note to self: I swear to god I told you to stop thumbtapping fics on your phone YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME UGH


End file.
